Your wedding day should be one you look back on with fondness. The thought of the day brining a smile to your face 20 years from now. So then why is it so easy to loose track of it all and become overwhelmed and stressed? Well here are 5 sure fire ways to allow stress to take over and steal the joy from your day.
Not listening to your (reasonable) self.
It’s happened, your beau has finally popped the question and you wearing the gorgeous ring holding all the promises of your beautiful future together. Friends and family are beside themselves with utter giddiness at all the excitement of parties and planning upon you for the coming months. In all the excitement our loved ones can begin to overstep boundaries and offer unsolicited advise or worse, be down right pushy, about what they envision for the wedding day. You don’t want to be rude or make any one feel excluded and you certainly don’t want to be labeled a “bridezilla” so you may find yourself feeling stuck and giving into requests and suggestions that are not really a reflection of you or your fiancé and that do not fit into the visions you have for your day. You need to know that it is OK to say no. You can do so with class and kindness. You can make others feel loved and involved without loosing yourself in the planning. The last thing you want is to wake up on your wedding day and find yourself in a dress that you were talked into getting, eating a cake that was your second choice flavor at a venue inside when you really just wanted an outdoor wedding ceremony
No Plan B. Now understanding that I just told you to stand by what you want I want to clarify this one. Have you heard the saying “plans are made to be broken”? Well I would not say I fully agree with those words, but I would say that there is some truth in there. Lets be real, we do live in Florida where weather is as predictable as a wildfire. One minute we have clear blue skies, the next minute its raining cats and dogs and 20 minutes later the sun is back out revealing the most glorious sunsets only Florida can offer. If you are planning an outdoor wedding it is wise to have a back up plan. Since your wedding planner is not in charge of coordinating the weather patterns, she may not be able to stop any surprises that may pop up. When deciding on a back up location ask your photographer what they think of lighting for the venue as that will effect the equipment he or she will need to bring.
Comparison. They say comparison is the thief of joy and boy is that the truth. We can literally suck the joy out of our wedding plans by comparing our day to the day of those around us. We have amazing benefits that didn’t exist even 5 years ago that can help enhance our wedding day dreaming and planning. We can access blogs showing beautiful images, magazines showing flawless brides, staged photo shoots depicting someone else’s happily ever after. But if we aren’t careful, we can end up feeling like we need more wow! Bigger and better everything to impress everyone. Then we can keep ourselves up at night obsessing over wedding details, stressing over finances. And before you know it you are walking into day one of married life carrying the burden of debt caused by trying to keep up with the Jones’s (or the Kardashian’s cause ya know, whatever floats your boat).
Poor Communication. Communication is key to any good relationship, whether romantic or professional. While planning a wedding you are challenged daily with having good communication with not only your fiancé but also with each of your vendors, your wedding party, and your friends and family. As the bride everyone is looking to you for direction and instruction. They all want to do whatever they can to ensure that you get the sweet fairy tale you have envisioned. It falls on your shoulders to be clear about what you envision for your day. If you are not comfortable taking control or voicing your opinion, start by speaking to your fiancé about what is important to you. Then also share with your mom or your maid of honor and make sure they know you need them to be your voice in situations where you feel overwhelmed and need some back up. Make sure they can clearly speak on your behalf if needed. Be sure you also clearly communicate to your vendors. For instance with your photographer, have a list of what pictures are most important to you and if you are not sure, ask your photographer if they have a list of picture ideas you can review to assist you in determining what you would like.
What’s the meaning of it all? This is the most important one of all. We spend so much time getting ready for the wedding day and we can not, MUST not, loose sight of the truth that the wedding day, despite all of its excitement and glamour, is just that….a day. Your marriage, on the other hand, is till death do you part. So in the midst of all the hustle and bustle. Make sure you do not forget why you are having this amazing party. Don’t forget this day is about the two of you, coming together as one before God, your family and friends to celebrate your love and the journey you are embarking on together. Take sometime together. Be sure you prepare for the marriage as much as the wedding day. Consider premarital classes. Read a marriage book together and discuss the chapters. Pour into the relationship and your future because that is where the true treasure lies.
Post written by Gwen Parrish
Palm Beach Wedding & Portrait Photographer.